Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
