In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Found the puke drawer
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
