why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
