my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
