he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Are we still banned from the library?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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