Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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