No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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