I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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