so let's talk penis.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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