Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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