just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
