Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
