How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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