Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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