I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize