so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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