Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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