i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
