Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
ttyl tear gas
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
