Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I could fuck to npr.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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