weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
