you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
