I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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