you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
