i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
