Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
