would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
