He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
