and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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