please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
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