they need to just BURY HIM!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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