Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
