About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
