You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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