Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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