My brain says no but my pants say off.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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