Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
