So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Randomize