i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
