How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
