I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
