I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
