theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
