Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
