some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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