the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
operation have a gay friend backfired
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
