I want to make a zoo with you.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
