people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
