Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
