if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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