I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
