i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Randomize
