yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
