She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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