I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
