it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize