I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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