My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
