I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have tasted many bathrooms
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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