just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
