sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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