Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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