god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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